I am who I am...

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

said i wouldn't call, but i've lost all control

doing a job for years allows you to figure out a few things, short cuts. things that just work better. at dinner tonight, i was at the bar and the bartender asked me what made a dirty martini "dirty". shocked, i was. how are you a bartender and not know one of the staple drinks in the world of entertainment?

and i won't even get into how wrong it was for mister waiter standing next to me, wine key in stationary hand while he was twisting the bottle....scratching the bar with every turn... to pull the cork out.

...on a completely separeate note, i'm disappointed.... and hurt.

Saturday, November 07, 2009

i'm asking him to change his ways

this is it. what a wonderful man the world has lost. so misunderstood, in my opinion. his final work has inspired me. my one life regret slapped me in the face good today. i have no idea why i ever quit dancing. it was my true love... and after the amazement i saw on the big screen today, i want to find that love again! take a look at yourself and then make a change. thanks mj.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

concrete jungle where dreams are made of

per request from the ONE person who apparently still reads this...i'm updating my blog.

honestly, not much to write about, especially since i'm working on the book. it's amazing how much of a journal it's turning out to be...sorta. between my own life and those around me, it's (hopefully) going to be quite interresting. a few of the cronies can't get enough of it already, which is promising. i'm just concerned that character development won't be good enough for those who don't know me. we'll see! it's occupying much of my time, which is needed when you live in a small town with not much to do.

leaving for kansas in a few days. i NEVER thought i'd be excited to be going there. but it's escaping my current reality for a bit. and then going to tx for thanksgiving to see the bro will be checking 2 new states off the list in one month... i think i'm up to 29 or so now!

Thursday, October 01, 2009

feeling defeated. with a heavy heart.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

the echoes from the past

i have a 6th sense sometimes. the ability to think of something or someone and shortly afterwards that something or someone appear out of the blue. i was thinking yesterday about a girl i was friends with in 2nd grade who had moved away 1/2 way through the 3rd grade. it's been nearly 18 years.

walking into a local establishment last night meant avoiding the bachelorette party that was happening. a quick glance at the one donning the veil had stopped me in my tracks. my eyes grew wide and i blurted out her name. analeigh yelled mine back at me and old friends were instantly reunited.

it's funny how things happen.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

just what did you do, if you're a dream then come true

do dreams come true? does everyone end up with some sort of happy ending? ..obviously not.

i'm hoping that every day, my actions and choices will eventually lead me to both of these. i am saddened for those who compromise their own happiness for the happiness of others. i really believe that your happiness needs to come before anyone else's and if you sacrifice that, you are actually doing disservice to everyone who happens into your world.

so although, i'm not at the best place in my life right now, i continue on. i continue to find one thing each day, or every other day, to better myself. to grow myself. to inch toward my happiness. to take baby steps toward my dreams and hopeful happy ending.

next baby step? ...finding a name.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

i'd rather feel pain than nothing

wisdom teeth suck. i can't wait to be rid of them