I am who I am...: January 2008

do you hear me

i am one of those annoying people who just says "hi" when i answer. no matter if i called you or you called me. i don't announce myself ... i expect you to recognize my voice.

i hope you think of me

frigid. that's the only way to describe today. it's no fun sitting in your car in -20f weather waiting for it to warm enough for you to put it in drive. it's so cold today that my fingernails are purple!

can anyone explain to me why my pomegranate tea is dripping a red color, but turns my water a greyish blue?

one of the most challenging things i've encountered lately is having more than one boss...and trying to make each of them happy... especially when each of them tells me how i need to do the exact same project, but instructions and expected outcomes are vastly different.

mary's birthday party is this weekend. a circus themed murder mystery. i got my character the other night... so, the short chubby girl is going to be the human pretzel. i'm set to dazzle people with my amazing finger crossing skills. if they're lucky, i may show them my toe crossing skillz too. i will post pictures! i have some fabulous ideas for hair & make-up :D

it's hump day, isn't it?.... fabulous!

no i don't regret this life chose for me

wow, i'm feeling rather inspired by other's posts lately. perhaps it was Mix's coffee shop analogy.... the expanding on each other's posts and making nomadlife more like a forum of issues to discuss.

so on to adam's post this morning. i'm assuming he was talking about mad-town's LC as well as the national member community. being 2 years gone from the org, i have not been all "up on things" but i'm not ignorant to certain happenings or remembering how things were (back in the day). so, from a different LC, this is my point of view on a few things he touched on.

first of all, i am not sure that there is even an LC in place where i used to call home. being from an LC that never went above 15 while i was at st. cloud, i was always semi-envious of the madisons, texas', michigans, etc... of my era. fortunately, i was able to develop strong friendships in many other LCs and always thought of madison as my second @ home.... i am connie from sconnie, after all. i think that community is what you make of it. i feel like there will always be that core of people who will drive the org, keep the mission near and dear to their hearts and be the friendships that last forever.

i know that coming into @ is a very intimidating thing. and having expectations of members (new and old) are good, but need to be realistic. i am guilty of expecting members to be as passionate and dedicated to the org as i was...at all times. if you weren't pulling what i thought was your weight, well then..there was the door. of course, it wasn't my say. some backed out gracefully, some felt my wrath (i am not proud of this) and some were still sitting in their chairs doing nothing (except pissing me off) when i left.

but who was i to say whether those people were worth the time and resources of the organization. not everyone blossoms at the same time or with the same trigger points. and pushing people out because you/we/they don't deem them worthy isn't necessarily the goal of the org, either.

and who is to say what is impactful for those involved in the org.? is the "vision session" powerpoint enough for some? probably. the ultimate goal is to have people emerge themselves in a foreign culture and understand that culture...as well as bringing foreigners here to immerse and understand our culture. but if you are part of the exchange process at all, are you really FAILING the organization if you don't go abroad? if the previous statement is true, then i am a failed product of @? i don't think i am, but the chatter happening seems to allege that i am. i have never been outside of north america, but i am sure that i have been touched by many more cultures and understand many more people's viewpoints than most from where i am from and (probably) the majority of my country....generally speaking, of course. i am not saying that i wouldn't love to go abroad and fully understand another's culture, however some of us don't have that luxury. and in that case, what is the disappointment in someone getting the most out of @ as they CAN?

as for the 5,000 person national conference... i think that it may be a logistical nightmare the first few times... but with practice, most everything gets better. that being said, how many of us always knew everyone at the conferences anyway...even when they were the 150 person-ers? am i really the only one who knew only the popular/loud kids at the conference? am i the only one who has forgotten at least one name of their roommate at national conferences and MANY roommates from regional ones? so, that being said (and forgive me if i AM the only person who's forgotten roommates), what would be the big deal if there were 5,000 people at a national conference? isn't that what @ is all about...impacting as many people as possible? given, the LT would need to step up in a big way, and there'd be many break out groups, but with each group focused on something a little different, wouldn't that also allow for much more productivity (in an idealistic situation)? the more people, the more culture, the more @ fun...the more IMPACT.

fyi: whenever there is that first 5,000 person national conference, i want to be there! and i want to be part of the A-Team!...the alumni version, of course :) by the way, do they still do the 'wild wild west' dance that i helped create?

like i said, this is just my point of view of the sitch... and i am an alumni from a small LC. perhaps i'm missing something that's happened within the last 2 years, but all the above makes sense to me as of my joining the alumni status.

and although i am out of the immediate @ workings, i still firmly believe i am part of the community that encompasses all @ means. and always will. there will always be doers, supporters, fun ones, and a good group of those who are all of those things. i can only hope that i was one of those who were a mix of all. and i will always be a supporter!

there is not many college stories that (at least in my mind) don't start with "at an @ event" or "with some @ homies" or "on our way to @".... it's a good organization. always has been, always will be. and the more people that are able to feel the goodness - even for a little bit - the merrier.

********************************************

after reading (i think fully) the comments on other's blogs, i realize that there is a much more focused reason behind the posts.... good luck with figuring things out, guys. sounds like there's some good strategic thoughts being bounced around. i miss so much those days of worried excitement. @'s not going anywhere, you'll be golden :)

chips and salsa

that's a decent breakfast, right?

deep in the world tonight

after reading her latest blog and chatting with Jen briefly this morning, i'm starting to question where i am in life...or how i got here. don't get me wrong, i love my job! but i'm curious as to how i got to a place where i'm no longer helping others. i'm not volunteering, i'm not promoting global awareness, i'm not really traveling.... there's been something missing since i moved here. and i think that today has been my break-through. i haven't been contributing to the greater good of mankind. i think i need to start doing that again.

saturday in MN

ice, ice baby....

i wanna rock right now

have you seen the new mac? i think if i touched one, it would instantly break. it's SOOO thin.

i'm very tired of re-runs. tonight, to escape re-runs, i'm going to READ.

in 4 hours it's friday! in 21 hours, this week will be over. in about 20.5 i am going to be seriously happy :D

it's time to kick

sometimes, i feel unintelligent. although, i know i am an intelligent human (well, depending on who you ask). i am educated. yet when people use words that i don't know or that i can't figure out in the context they are used, i feel DUM!

i ain't talking about it, i'm livin' it

i just moseyed to B&N to get the book we picked for our book club. i heard that the prestige was a better movie than the illusionist. i hope the book is good.

i also needed a 2008 calendar for home. so i went through the stash of what they have left. i decided that i'd rather be the quirky girl with the calendar of shoes than the girl with the calendar with fairies, poodles, chihuahuas, dragons, wizardry or tween fun.

i hate driving in slush. especially when the wipers are frozen in a shape that doesn't exactly match the arch of my windshield. so, now i have streaks of wiper fluid mixed with road slush. fantastic.

i'm very excited to see where our company will be within the next 2 months! very exciting!

i'm not going to write you a love song 'cuz you asked for it

i'm sad... because of the outcome of yesterday's game. the pack had chances to win, but then again, the giants blew MANY chances to win. their offense just kicked our defense a little harder than ours did theirs. i promised the office a nice cheese tray if we made it to the big show, so i guess i'm relieved that i don't have that obligation, but that's the ONLY UPSIDE to this deal. again this year, i will watch the super bowl for commercials only.... and the halftime show.

the weekend was pretty good.
a large purple bruise has developed on my thigh. this is a result of the snowmobile ride.
the deca competition was interesting. i was both impressed and disappointed at what level these kids are at. some of them are able to think so far outside the box, but not toward things that seem so obvious to me. let's advertise on yahoo and google....great, but what about things like blogs, facebook, myspace, forums, news sites... places where so many people spend a good chunk of their days?

ahh, another week. i need to buy and start reading the prestige for book club. and i need to start buying for all these weddings so that i don't go broke all at once. i still don't think it's fair that women have to buy for showers, bachelorette parties AND the wedding. shitty!

f***

why the hell it means so much to me

in my opinion, there is no excuse for butt cleavage - especially on a man. that's where i'm going to leave that.

i am uber sore from yesterday's ride. we did about 45 miles....i'm not accustom to that! so, every joint and muscle are cursing me today, but i'm glad we went. dad had to work, so my little bro and i went. nice powder snow on top. very slippery going around the curves of the trail, but when you shift your body right, you can take them at 40mph like a hot knife cutting through butter. 60+ mph on the straight aways, it was fabulous. and being that we went on a thursday morning, we met a total of 1 other sled the entire day...and it was within 1/2 mile from home! beautiful!

ahh, running into old friends' parents. the "you two should really make an attempt to keep in touch - you only live 6 blocks from each other" .... ugh, i don't know if i want to.

i'm very happy i was blessed with great teeth! sitting with a newly wisdom-toothless boy. i can not imagine what wisdom teeth removal or braces may feel like. i don't ever want to either!

lulu's birthday party tonight. her godparents are headed toward a divorce. don't know if i'm looking forward to this awkwardness....

it sure makes everything seems so small

could the internet save our world from global warming?... read here

my baby sister turns 18 today, yikes!

now throw your hands up in the sky

the trip to chicago is currently stalled, which makes me sad. BUT this may allow for my NYC plans to go forward with miss TWIN :)...any new yorkers want to put up two amazingly awesome girls sometime this spring???

i'm a nerd...and have joined a book club. "mostly fictional". first meeting is tonight. any good suggestions of books we should read? we are supposed to come with suggestions and i've yet to do any research.

i have to get ski or snow pants today.... my little sister has stolen my old ones and i need some for my father/daughter excursion on thursday. i hope the winter sales have started so i can get a good pair for cheap.

go you packers,

Go, Go!

that's where you'll find me

meeting new people is always cool... but there's something special about meeting a new baby. i love the smell of babies! and how little and how much potential they are.... it's amazing to me that we all start our lives in this state.

i'm so glad i was able to meet little ray! kait and shady, you have a BEAUTIFUL babe!

seems as though my saturday was filled with babies... first meeting my first @ baby, then writing out invites to mary's baby shower and i watched knocked up just before bed. mmmm, babies.

headed home this week, going to take a vacation day. my pa and i are going to go snowmobiling! hooray! and then i'll be home for lucy's 18th birthday party!

during happy hour on friday, i think my friend kaye and i talked my cousin christina into a trip to chicago in a couple weeks. christina (a virgin to flying) is wanting to drive.... but i think kaye and i are going to pressure her into flying. alas, another weekend in the city, this time will be a longer stay! anyone down there wanna meet up on the weekend of feb. 7-10. or know of anything fun going on that weekend?

ugh, i've gotten addicted to my netflix account.... updating the queue and finding new movies that i want to see. anyone have suggestions that i should rent??

gucci sneaks on to keep my outfit together

i need a good belly laugh night. pitchers of beer or margaritas...or popcorn and a good movie. something. and not a happy hour with co-workers. i need my homies. when are you moving back?? soon?! weeks?!

i think this disposition is due to all the hazy drabness. perhaps all i really need is a tanning bed session. a little vitamin d.

you will be the one who loves me the most

i'm putting my calendar together for this year.... any other weddings i should know about?

headin' to the rapids with some discound beer

it's inevitable - underage kids will have parties. they will have parties with alcohol. in high school, i was not a participant of such parties. other than a party my brother and i threw, i have yet to be to a bonfire/field party back home.... said parties sometimes have pictures taken at them...

last year, about 20 kids from a district near my home town were kicked out off varsity sports teams and out of school activities because a school official was shown pictures of students at drinking parties that were posted on facebook. this week, a school in minnesota is in the same situation. i've fyi'ed my siblings and cousins of the hazards of they (or their friends) posting incriminating pictures on the internet.

so, i'm posing this question:
how far is too far in terms of schools, and employers searching into your personal life? is it really fair game if it's posted on a personal site?.... is it fair for them to go onto your facebook or myspace site to look at 'stupid things you do on the weekends' and then hold it against you - with suspension, termination, fines? not necessarily for kids at drinking parties, but anyone.

'cuz i love the way you call me baby, and you take me the way i am

-i think i'm going to start a bucket list. i think this will be the only way to actually get everything i want out of life... to pull the stick and just do it.

-after many months (8) of working towards it, our product is finally Skype Certified!

-i'm missing people i know i shouldn't.

-i wish i had more friends here.

-american idol starts next week and i CAN NOT WAIT!

-the 13 hour sleep i had on saturday was very much needed.

-meeting up with friends from different parts of your life is quite refreshing.

-my baby sister is turning 18 next weds...scary!

-i'm going to be a judge for a DECA competition in 2 weeks.

-are we having an eclipse of some sort? ... today has been quite peculiar.

-they are my family and i will love them no matter what.

-ooOOOOoo! dance wars start tonight too! yayay!

-wow, i can not believe how rude some people can be to those who serve them. servers, customer service reps, baristas... we're just trying to HELP YOU!

-so, i've been pretty into honey mustard and the south's mustard version of BBQ sauce lately.

-i have a lot of work to do!

it's just you and your hand tonight

one of my pet peeves... people who come to town, call ahead of time to make plans, and then call after they've left to apologize that it "just didn't work out"..... for the 4th time in a row that they've come to town, made plans and failed to follow through.

...i've come to the conclusion that about 80% of all the worlds foods are better with a sauce of some sort.

...i signed up for netflix yesterday. i hope this works as a good alternative to cable.

...i'm looking forward to baby showers.

....6 weddings already queued up for this year...ugh.

i must say, i'm sort of excited to see what this year is going to bring. i smell goodness!

all the little birdies on jailbird street

i was at the grocery store ... there was a finch staring at me from atop the organic salad dressings in the produce department. peculiar.

it was -8f today when i left for work...oddly enough, it didn't seem so bad.

I am who I am...

Thursday, January 31, 2008

do you hear me

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

i hope you think of me

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

no i don't regret this life chose for me

chips and salsa

Monday, January 28, 2008

deep in the world tonight

Friday, January 25, 2008

saturday in MN

Thursday, January 24, 2008

i wanna rock right now

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

it's time to kick

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

i ain't talking about it, i'm livin' it

Monday, January 21, 2008

i'm not going to write you a love song 'cuz you asked for it

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Friday, January 18, 2008

why the hell it means so much to me

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

it sure makes everything seems so small

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

now throw your hands up in the sky

Sunday, January 13, 2008

go you packers,

that's where you'll find me

Thursday, January 10, 2008

gucci sneaks on to keep my outfit together

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

you will be the one who loves me the most

headin' to the rapids with some discound beer

Monday, January 07, 2008

'cuz i love the way you call me baby, and you take me the way i am

Thursday, January 03, 2008

it's just you and your hand tonight

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

all the little birdies on jailbird street

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