in terms of the years that pass you by
the dells.... i can't remember the last time i was in a place that was so incredibly touristy. just to be able to get away for a few days felt so good, though.mary and andy will be here in less than 12 hours. it means so much when other people make an effort to keep in contact, especially when it's a physical visit. it's all about making memories. 'cuz in the end, that's pretty much the only thing that anyone really has. sometimes they're captured in pictures. other times, all you have is a 40 oz. capital brewery mug and a picture of a steel reserve for 79 cents poster.
ain't gonna have nothin' but the supper on
quite possibly one of the worst weekends i've experienced yet. all the bad stuff having to do with my stupid little part-time gig that costs me way too much stress and ill feelings than i'm sure it's worth. after work when going to meet up with the bros, i was so obviously behind on the beverage count that whilst i really could've used many beverages, i ended up being the responsible sister. leaving for the WISCONSIN DELLS (eric :p) tomorrow with leigh. i'm so ready for a few days away with twoferones in my hand at most times. and i'm very pumped for the arrival of mary and andy this weekend! i've not seen my best friends since her wedding in the beginning of april. very very exciting next few days. hopefully the remaining memories from this past weekend will be gone when i get back (c:
how do i get there from here, how do i make you see
since i've been home, patrick and i rarely talk. he's the one person that i should be closest to, he's the only one with the same family links as me. but since moving from st. cloud, i've seen the relationship dwindle. i'm not the only one to blame, he doesn't call either. but the ease of hanging out and being siblings was so much greater when we were in the same location. on the flip side, i've really gotten to know my three younger siblings a lot better. when i left for college, all three of them were just little yet, immature and not fun to deal with. at 23, i wonder how immature i'm being now with grace, having all the silly fun that i'm assuming sisters who are closer in age indulge in while they're younger. we're finally close enough in mental states that we can get along, have fun days together and not get completely annoyed with each other. it's great. but i do miss the days when patrick and i could just go for lunch and leave hours later, not realizing all the time that had passed. he's coming home this weekend. haven't talked to him in three weeks. it makes me sad, especially knowing that his first love is what he's coming home for. he'll be playing ball all weekend and i probably won't see him for very long. i worry what my relationship with my family will be like when i finally do move away. i see how often my dad speaks to his siblings that have moved to different states. i don't want that to be me, but i'm sure it will end up something like that. i suppose it's all part of growing up and becoming adults. we're becoming our own people. just because we have the same roots doesn't mean we'll all stay the same branch. but oh how i'll miss it, when it's gone.
carved my name into his leather seats
with the guidance of some pretty spectacular people, i've decided to not take another job. i just can't trust myself as a sales person (YET) to support myself with a commission based only paying job. the search continues.thanks, matt meyers, for a most splendid catch-up. it's those kind of convo's, after 6 months, that i love about my friends. because for those kind of people, 6 months doesn't make you a different person. picking up right where we left off (massively hung over on christmas eve) is what is so great about friends like you. thanks.
'cuz i dug my keys into the side of his pretty little suped up four wheel drive
job offer. selling time on movie screens prior to the show. yay or nay?i'm going to go fall asleep in the sun. dell trip in 2 weeks. its important to be bronzed.
ya know time has been just like a thief
as far as state tournaments go, the girls softball lost first round, so that's done. boys start tomorrow in appleton. i guess i'm going to that. very excited for all my cousins and sister for their accomplishments this spring. it's a big deal in this town. if you're in the medford area on friday, the club volleyball team is having a brat fry at strama's to raise money for nationals in two weeks. and tuesday all the girls are having a car wash.... at hardees??? high school girls in their bikini's .... boys.after spending a day cleaning asian beetles and spider webs from every window in that house today, i've decided i don't want to be a window washer for a living. it really doesn't pay enough for the kind of work it is. but i did learn today that snapping turtles look nothing like they portray them in cartoons. their tails are WAY longer than on t.v. and hind claws are quite massive. grace starts work with me on friday. we'll have to see how that'll go. not quite sure that lulu is food service material. i just hope she doesn't cry. i can totally see her crying. oh god, what did i get myself into?pray for my car to last a while longer, for me to win the lotto, and for me to get a job.thanks.
too much silence can be misleading
i wish i had enough guts to just tell him that i love him. it's the constant fear of ruining what IS by exposing my desires of what i WISH. i wrote him a letter over 8 months ago. i still have it, despite the fact that i have wanted to drop it in the mailbox numerous times. have you ever seen the movie RETURN TO ME? it's the same fight the transplant recipient has with her letter thanking the donor's family. i know i'll feel better getting rid of it, but what will the consequences be?on my drive home i became saddened by the amount of friends i have here, but more importantly, frusterated with the variety of friends. tonight, all i wanted to do was grab a case of beer and go hang with my boys.... be one of them. but i don't have any boys here. for 4.5 years, i had 3 different groups of boys.... the jocks, the hicks and the "liberals"... and a few sparatic ones in between. i miss the trouble i got into with them, i miss the ease of conversation, i miss the not caring. i have 2 girls that i hang out with here. i get bored quite easily. i don't want to turn into the girl who sleeps with 2 different guys in 3 days and decides to discuss with the whole town. i don't want to be the hermit. i'm a social being (you all know this). i'm bored with the people here. can hear it already...."so move, get out, start over somewhere else." easier said than done, my friends. if i've learned one thing in all of my marketing classes, it's been: to make money, you've got to spend money. well, i have $30 to spend and that's barely going to get my car to the next town. maybe next week, i'll have $31.50 and be singing a different tune.
friends agree that there's a need to play the game and to win again
