my mind is turning - just two shots more, there's not much left to play

i'm going brain-dead.. i swear.
i need to just sit in a quiet room by myself for a good long time.
better yet, i need to go to bed soberly at a reasonable hour... but i'm a good friend.
folks, its worse than any conference... probably because i have no motivation for what i wake up for every morning.
i just remembered that i need to get holly, amy and kait their birthday presents yet. maybe i'm not THAT good of a friend...
i hear a beat. i'm not sure if its the work-out place for ladies that shares a wall with the shoppe, or just my head playing tricks on me.
i need to sleep.
i need to pack.
i need not drink... tonight, anyway.
and i REALLY need to quit smoking when i drink. i think, perhaps its the company that i keep. i don't smoke when its me, kait and amy.
vanjah gave me a hug last night... i was scared.

my parents live in a small town

spotted a few pictures on katiewisconsin's blog this morning. got to thinking about "old aiesec times". now, i'm not hating on the new aiesec times one little bit. however, i am thinking that i'm sorta missing the crew that was aiesec back in the first two years of my @ bliss... the rowdies that attended that conference in chicago (burb's feet were in those cute booties 'cuz he almost froze them off that winter). the one where it said "welcome aiesec group" on the sign outside and we all laughed at them 'cuz they were so naive as to what was about to happen to them. bg, kg, claude, katiewisconsin, naub, colleen, mikey, burbs, applebaum, i know i'm missing some peeps, and of course, the st. cloud chicas. i want a get-together... or, want to see everyone at halloween... or, something...

ahh, reminiscing

i don't know what they want from me, its like the more money we come across, the more problems we see

**i find myself extremely tired these days. i wake up, go to school to do some work before i head to the restaurant to either work lunch and head straight to the gift shoppe, or work a double. i don't mind being physically drained, but i'm mentally exhausted. i just want to be able to go out with people and not stare off into space. i want to be an enjoyable person again. shit, my conversation with kaitlin last night even sucked. and that NEVER happens. damn john candy movie...

**i need to stop buying espresso from the coffee shoppe next door. every time i buy one, its burnt. now, i don't know how many of you drink espresso, but i worked in that coffee shoppe for 2 years, i trained half of the kids that worked for them last year. i can see, taste, smell a good espresso shot. i should know better than to buy them when the manager's shots are burnt. she teaches the baristas to burn shots, not to make good ones. that bothers me. and i'm now trying to choke down a burnt iced americano, just so i don't make the little girl who made it for me cry.

**tonight, a girl from work wants me to come play poker with her and her boys. sounds fun. patrick wants me to go out with him. also sounds fun. however, i'm supposed to be moving (the first of 5 moves in the next 4 months) next tuesday. i haven't started to pack yet. my room looks like a bomb exploded in it. precisely how it has for the last 4 years, since i moved out of my parents house. i need to throw more shit out, downsize more than i did in may. i think it'll be easier this time around. throw out all the shoes that i only wear 3 times a year. toss the t-shirts that i haven't worn all summer. chuck the shorts that i haven't worn all summer. sort through the jeans again, cut the stash in half. one thing i'm not downsizing will be the hoodie collection. well, maybe one or two of the ratty ones can go. we'll have to see. perhaps those will be my "in the car" clothing selection.

**i'm ready for fall to be here. i grabbed a light sweater to change into for the gift shoppe today. the cute girl at the coffee shoppe commented on how cozy i look. i think that fall may be my favorite season. i love sweaters and the weather. leaving the window open all day, getting the breezes all day and the crispness of fall nights. i love waking up in the morning with my nose just a little cold and knowing that my blankets are serving a purpose. not to mention the fact that sitting at football games (the american kind) with beanie hats, sweatshirts, gloves and a blanket with friends is more enjoyable than almost anything. ... and then there's halloween, pumpkin carving, seed toasting and madison in all of its glory. ahh... yes, fall. i'm ready for it.

heaven help us all...

just a random observation...

as i'm looking at all my friends on msn tonight, i'd like to say..

HAPPY SCHOOL DAYS AND BEST OF LUCK FINDING ALL OF YOUR BOOKS AT A REASONABLE PRICE THIS SEMESTER!

most everyone's bitching about school starting... and then there's maz, who's apparently happy about swiss (whatever that means).

i'm just a lucky so and so

this is an interesting color... can anyone put a name to it? not that it really matters.

in less than a week, ferg arrives from the UK. less than 2 weeks, we'll be meeting up at the Mall Of America (oooo, ahhh..), and in less than 3 weeks, he'll be in st. cloud for a week. kinda nervous about that. patrick's rather excited to meet him... that's that part i'm nervous about more than anything. i'm scared that patrick and ferg are going to be 2 peas in a pod, and that could be QUITE DANGEROUS. confirmation from anyone who knows patrick...?

also kinda scared because patrick showed interest in going to halloween in madison... eek! i LOVE my brother, i just sometimes don't know about mixing him with some of my friends... ultra conservative doesn't always mix well with ultra liberal.

-------

orientation went well this morning for the new job. i think i'm going to like it and learn a LOT about marketing, more than if i was in a classroom. and i get paid well enough. good stuff. it smells like hospital food there, but other than that, i'm pretty sure i'll complain minimally about that job this fall.

yay!

'cuz it you and me and all of the people

holls... guess who's working with me at the stonehouse??

i worked 11 hours today, the little asshole who was the "dishwasher" did about 25 dishes all day. thats 10 plates, 7 bowls and 8 pans, ladys and gents. and got up and left at 7 pm with our supper rush staring us in the face. luckily, the cute girl i was training was ready to go, so ... Hi, my name is connie, i made shit for tips today because i was doing a little punk-ass' job for him...

i'm annoyed with some people.

i really wish that the people at work tonight wouldn't have told me about the person going around near campus, attacking others with a baseball bat... i'm here by myself until next week... and hopefully will be alive then.

how i wonder what you are

i'm bored...

i don't want to go home, its scary there...

i need to find someone to hang with, my roommate/most hangable friend hath left me...

showed up to work today to find that i am now a trainer. i was only hired like a month and a half ago, and they've already got me training?.. damn, gina!...

is it really smart to work until 11pm saturday, go to a party after that, and be back at work to train at 10 am?...

any good movies out on dvd lately? i need something to pass my time alone...

i'm gonna be in eau claire on september 10, for a wedding of a guy that i don't much like from high school. anyone else gonna be there that evening?...

did i mention that i'm bored?..

i could be reading, but damn.. wicked has yet to pull me in...

have orientation to my newest job for this fall on monday. i'll be working 4 jobs this semester...

i love my older brother! (i actually love all 4 of my siblings, but the big one has top rating for a while)...

speaking of things i love... pickles and tomatoes are topping the list right now, along with michael buble and jamie cullum...

i miss kait...

read about a few wedding crazed entries on nomadlife lately. caught up with one of my best friends from high school last night. we decided that neither would be upset if we weren't in the others wedding party. what a load off. now, to figure out who to marry. but like suzanne, i'm placing myself on the "not anytime soon" list...

i AM putting stickers on the big bags!...

iced americanos are much better than iced coffee. one pump of almond roca, cream, mmm....

i like cyndi lauper...

green rocks my world...

i think carlo rossi may be calling my name tonight. anyone else want to have a threesome with me and he?...

YES!! found a partner in crime for tonight!...

haven't made a completely random weblog entry in quite a while, consider yourself lucky to be witness to such a random masterpiece!...

i don't understand why some people refuse to email back in a timely fashion...

right, so i now need to get to vacuuming and pricing stuff...

adios and have a good weekend!...

come fly with me, come fly fly away.

have you ever been impressed with yourself? i know i'm a good cook, but last night i knocked my own socks off. too bad you weren't there to experience my amazingness in the kitchen.

i spent much of my free time today sorting out stuff for an SN who is soon heading to bogota. i've always been on the corporate sales side of @, but i'm kinda liking getting someone excited for what's to come for them, prepping them and introducing a culture and organization to them that they haven't necessarily been exposed to here. tyrone should have fun and i'm anticipating the people in bogota to enjoy him a lot.

application 2 went out today. a bit more nervous sending that one. i don't like not knowing specifics and/or people. but i figure getting a jump on this may be a good thing. i'll get used to rejection and toughen myself up. trying to focus on job searching, trying to drown out the personal stuff... netto, i'm doing a good job at the latter part of that. bossman told me today as i sent the fax from work.. "don't worry about it, they're gonna throw it in the trash anyway." rejection from the current employer even, man does that boost my confidence for the future ones.

my roomates leave tomorrow for their roadtrip... they're still looking for a place to stay on september 2nd or 3rd in NYC... any takers??? and i'm looking for anyone that wants to come visit me while they're on their 10 day excursion. the house creeps me out. so anyone that wants to come hang with me and keep me un-scared, let me know! i think i may go insane being there alone for 10 days.

Some hidden desperation You saw floatin' in my eyes

officially have one job application completed. another just needs to be faxed. and then the searching continues. where to go? anyone have suggestions? i have a few places in mind. but then there's other things to take into consideration. people i want to be close to, and some that i don't want to be close to. some that will probably think i'm moving for them... but really, they're why i wouldn't move there. i realized the other day that i'll be moving 6 times in the next 5 months. need to downsize my life even more than it already is. need to fit my life into 2 suitcases, a carry-on, and a personal bag. shit, that's what i took to the last conference. oh wow...

another day shot in the ass in front of a computer, being distracted by people from all around the globe (alright, its really just been the UK, Morocco, Switzerland and San Fran today). i love it. but it costs me days and days. meh.

today has been all aiesec... so hectic, yet so calming.

i'm just a girl in the world..

hey y'all.. after many hours of uploading, the UNCUT version of my pictures from SSC 2005 (denver, colorado) are HERE. i hope you enjoy them... but don't abuse them.

job searching.. going to be a freaking blast, i can tell already. its kinda difficult because i'm not sure i where i want to be. it'll all work out, though, right?? i don't know if i like this growing up thing.

just when you think you've got me figured out the season's already changing

do i think too much? do i over analyze situations? or are they really as i see them? is someone playing with my mind, on purpose or not? thought things were finally just as i saw them, but if they were exactly as i saw them, this wouldn't be happening. WTF?

me and cinderella, we put it all together, we can drive it home

craziness. that's been my life lately. just mentally. haven't caught up on sleep yet. trying to figure out life shit. i'm tired.

i've had a pretty packed 24 hours. last night i met dave, the "inventor of college rule paper" (he's max 24 and a recent st. cloud state graduate), recieved a new name from dave the college rule guy (you may now refer to me as Theresa), made friends with the backside of the dumpster in an ally, had a fab. night out with my girl from work, worked a double, got little sleep, made a compelte fool of myself while serving the boss and his friends... blah blah blah, the life goes on.. and on, and on, and on, hopefully.

falling asleep waiting for a call. sorry if i don't answer.

and i've been keeping all the letters that i wrote to you, each one a line or two.

i'm going to be a freaking work-aholic this fall. just got a marketing opportunity. i think she hired me on the spot, just wants to look at my resume to make sure that i'm not lying about my marketing experience. woohoo!!

pretty sure that i couldn't ask for much more in my life than the stuff that's currently going on. i'm in a good place, setting myself up for 4 months from now. graduation will not be the end, just the beginning.

thumbs up.

rounding up people already for october 31 in THE Mad-Town USA. rally the troops folks. madison peeps party much like the @ peeps.

And another one bites the dust

Madison...haha
Originally uploaded by conniemg6.

so, another conference has come and gone. i think this conference allowed less sleep than any other i've been to. but it was mostly my fault, trying to drink in all the @ times i possibly could. technically, that was supposed to be my last conference, but i'm sure that i'll be attending more, either chairing or as alumni. its tough to think of. emotionally draining, really.

but it was the best conference i've ever been to. the energy and attentiveness from everyone blew me away. .... and, the parties ROCKED. completely enjoyed this Madison sandwich. thanks Adam and Eric.

i'm working on uploading all my pictures. there are a LOT of them. am going to be taking a lot of naps...

oo, the oddest thing that happened to me all conference??.. i really think it was just Jen testing me, to find out if the nick-names are true.

--this guy walked into the hotel around 2 am on the final night. calls me over to ask what all the noise was going on downstairs. so i explained that it was a private party, about @ blah blah. then he asked me if i did (a word i can't remember). i had no fucking clue what he was talking about. *whispers* "COKE"?? (i was thinking... well, only diet coke, that shit rules my world).. but he asked me if i wanted to do a line with him!!!! WTF?... and then he proceded to ask me if i wanted his room key, and offered me $100 for the first person (didn't care what gender) that i brought with me and $50 for any additional ones.

if anyone knows B. Peters from Bank of America (perhaps it was Bank One..), stay away!

work is needing my presence... but so is my bed... work first, bed later.

in the jungle, the mighty jungle

tired tired tired... but hosting a party tonight alone. i'm now alone here, the sole St. Cloud delegate. lots of new friends, delerious MC members... apparently, johnny thinks i'm still drunk. could be.

we're all seeing double but making much progress. i cannot express the excitement that is flowing through me about how @U.S. is going to be developed.

i'm slap happy... laughing hysterically for absolutely no reason. its not even 10 here. could be very dangerous for tonight's party. shit

wild wild west..

sitting in sessions right now, blogging while paying attention (promise!)

really tired.. 3 hours of sleep. bad.

noticed since i've been here that the only emails in my inbox are my daily emailed horoscopes. i'm not sure if i like the lack of email sifting or not.

thanks for making me a fighter

sometimes people take things too personally. gotta let it roll of, take a look at the source and deal with it. knowing who surround you makes life go a little smoother.

--------

opening ceremonies are over. went a lot smoother than i think they've ever gone before. i only have 2 words left to say.

-WOOOOOOOOO Doggie!

i just died in your arms tonight

so, C-O-L-O is WAY cooler than i EVER imagined. i'm really stoked to be here. typical @ conference so far. LTM rocks my world.

i'm as happy as someone listening to the sponge-bob theme song. doing sessions after midnight. i love my life.

lying on our backs and countin' the stars where the cool grass grows

T minus 27 hours 'til take-off!!

------------

i can hear a lady laughing in the coffee shoppe. her laugh is just like one from my childhood. had to walk over and just look at her to make sure it wasn't the same lady.

its interesting to me that the people who knew me best 10 years ago, people from my childhood, don't have a clue as to who i am today. as with most family functions, Erin's wedding this past weekend brought me face to face with the aunts and uncles. one asked me how my career was going. i told him i'd let him know next year.

i love my family dearly, really i do. somehow i subconsciously avoided the aunts. probably in fear of the same ole dreaded questions. ...there's just something attractive about people that have the same thought patterns as you. made a new friend a the wedding. a girl i've known all my life, just never talked to her before. she's a jet-setter too. fabulous.

i found myself explaining aiesec to many people and trying to justify to them, in their terms, why i want to do what i want to do with my life. started explaining it to one aunt and uncle duo... turns out my aunt's best friend went on an @ traineeship in amsterdam and when she went to visit her there, she got some culture shock with the nude steam houses. all i could do was giggle... it just makes sense to me.

turns out, though, that traveling the world doesn't come as such a shock to some of them. a cousin flew out the day after the wedding. to china. to teach english. fabulous.

sometimes you win, sometimes you lose

isn't it fun starting stories with .. "well, i wasn't sober..."

the wedding was beautiful, don't know if i've ever attended one so wonderfully perfect in my life. i would upload the pictures, however, after a marvelous picture of Dad and myself, my hand didn't quite get under the camera before girl let it go. crashed and burned. let me just tell you that while "not sober", i am NOT an adequate camera repair person. so now its in the shop, being assessed... need it by wednesday. found one for cheap today, so may just purchase a new one. damn it all.

i'm still trying to figure out what to wear for the "night at the roxbury" theme... i really can't remember anything from that era. i was running around with NKOTB stuff on (props to anyone who knows what that is). i'm pretty sure that attire isn't quite what they're looking for.

happy birthday mom... if you read this, i don't think you do (and thank god for that). i'm so happy that you're finally looking old enough to be my mom. soon they'll stop confusing us as sisters! yay!

when its my time to march up to glory, i'm gonna have one hell of a story

wedding showers, weddings, birthdays.... this weekend is packed.

started packing for denver. does anyone know if they allow rubbermaid-esk totes on planes? like as part of my luggage? i have props and would prefer them like that.

god, i'm tired already... could be danger signs for the conference.

duck duck goose? .. pin the tail on the donkey?... deer in headlights?

deer
Originally uploaded by conniemg6.

so, the theme chosen for St. Cloud's party at SSC is ANIMAL KINGDOM. come as an animal, any kind of animal... as long as its not a human one!

i'm walking on sunshine

SSC, here i come!!!!

literally doing a shaking bit because of excitement!

travel agent Metzler... your services are required.

captain planet, he's a hero, gonna take pollution down to zero

its amazing how much you can get done when there's communication involved. still working on getting to SSC. she talked herself into coming today. he's booked his ticket. things are looking up... may even book a flight today, who knows.

because i'm the wizard of ooo's and ahh's and shalala's

stupidity reigns.

i've never feared for my personal well-being. not even in Harlem at 3am. but i'm a bit concerned right now. i'm more concerned more for my brother's, though.

its funny how someone can screw up so badly, consciously again and again, and blame the people who are merely protecting the ones that will be effected most.

one threatening phone call led to a late-night moving session... took everything worth big bucks. feared vandalism and safety. especially when the one feared pulled into the lot literally seconds before we did. and cars of men kept driving past, yelling something at us.

like i said, stupidity reigns. and the one feared, who isn't the brightest lightbulb on the tree to begin with, is the "smart one" in the group, the ring-leader if you will... which means that all the rest of the posse are much dumber, some of which own guns. its not good.

mess with the ones dear to me, and they will find out. as they should.

"you're one of a kind, connie. you and your brother are two peas in a pod!"

i'm ok with that. lies are something mom frowned upon, something that was not allowed in our house. deception, also something frowned upon. truth, honesty, faithfulness, being an all around kind person... yeah, if that makes us one of a kind and two peas in a pod, then i think momma did well.