Should auld acquaintance be forgot
it's the last few hours for my 2009. i had 3 things that i had wanted to get accomplished this year and i think that 2 out of 3 ain't bad. i am NOT less messy this year than i was last. i rearranged my house last night to make it more Wii appropriate and a huge mess ensued. sure to be better by this afternoon, but really, who knows!i do believe that i have or am working on keeping my circle full of those who matter to me and whom i matter to. i am finding that this, more and more, is resulting in becoming close to my family. friends are important, but many seem to be out of convenience and although you've gone through a lot in the past, it's just that...the past. is it really what will actually matter in the future? probably not, and you can just let that go. it's tough, but i'm learning to let it go.my big accomplishment this year was my book. the skeleton is FINISHED! i am so incredibly excited about this. it's a thin skeleton of a book, but it's there and it's needing some fleshy goodness to be added now. i'm really hoping that in the next year and a half it'll be done and i can start taking whatever next steps are needed for it!2009 was full of new places for me, too. i think i will make a new tradition for myself, although probably not as many as i had this year. i have my first stamps on my passport! London was wonderful and full of stories Dawn and i can't stop telling. i think i could move to Wine Country! gorgeous and full of my personal happiness. Los Angeles was... interesting. i think another trip is needed to actually make a judgement on that one.my time in Houston was wonderful. i don't see or hear from my older brother enough and this past Thanksgiving with Patrick was good for the soul.although not horrible, i'm pretty sure that i'd be ok if i'd never be in Kansas again. very meh experience... i'm sure i'd feel differently if i was from there or spent more time there. but ...meh.this up coming year, i am anticipating a few more states... like ND and IA.. i'm ecstatic... i've got a few states knocked off my list to see. in my life, i want to be to them all. about 23 to go.i think above all, i'm going to continue to try to find my own personal happiness. i think that's really the best thing to do in the next decade. i think the 2010's are going to be fabulous! it HAS to be.happy new year and happy new decade to you! be safe and healthy and make it a good one!
come fly with me, come fly, come fly away
doing some off-site training all week. one of our tasks was to write our own mission statements. this brought be back to conference rooms... not quite conscious from the night before... finding a spot under a table somewhere and brainstorming as to what our purpose in life was. most everyone in @ wanted to help in some way, shape or form to help heal the world of hatred and misunderstanding.shockingly to me, although my thoughts of how i will get there have changed, my view and desire to be a part of the world's change is still there. i truly believe that whether largely or small-y, part of why i am here is to help others understand. now, to work on the path that will take me there. i feel like i've been stagnant in this lately... since college, really. but it's never too late to start something, is it?... or re-start.
i know you're in heaven watching down
68 years ago was a tough day for the United States. 6 years ago was a tough one for myself and some friends. it's difficult to say goodbye to anyone, but especially difficult when you never get the chance to say goodbye. i am positive i don't tell those i care about that i love them enough. and one day it will be too late. funny how things trigger memories... a few things that will always remind me of Peter:*lemondrops.*Hook- when wendy sits up in bed and yells "PE-tah!"*kona coffee*anything "shots"*american spirits:)time heals, but it doesn't mean we have to ever forget. and although it was a brief friendship, it's one i will never forget.
i really can't stay, baby it's cold outside
called the landlord this morning. bought a thermometer yesterday just to see how big of a baby i've actually been lately. so i report to landlord that it's been hovering between 56 and 59 degrees in the last 24 hours. he knows the furnace is broken and it's a "work in progress" ...and he also informed me that because there are 2 furnaces for the entire building (although the one for my part of the building is broken), this means that i "won't freeze literally"... the building will not fall below 32 degrees. .....awesome.
like strawberry wine
planning a wine, cheese, beer and games night. wanna come?
beneath the water that's falling from my eyes lays the soul i've left behind
i keep wondering why i look to my past and long to be back there. friends i randomly facebook connect with after years... something striking a memory and needing them to know i though of them. is my present so terrible that i can't help to want to be 4 years younger and with people who were "fun" and "interesting"?i wish i could take things back that i've done, that i've said. and there are things i wish i would have gotten off of my chest that i kept suppressed. why is the present never as satisfying as the past? why does the grass always seem greener on the other side? we know it isn't and that it'll get green on this side if we give it time. living through your own personal torture will eventually bring joy. it has to. watching shows i've missed this month tonight brought on an analogy that seems to hit quite close to home. it's gotta get worse before it gets better. burn victims...sucks to be them. but it's like i've doused myself with lighter fluid and grabbed a match. now i've got to peal the burn off before it will actually heal. working on it...but some days it sucks so bad and there are no "fun" or "interesting" folk around to distract from the suckiness. so, living through the torture alone. hoping that there will be joy somewhere along the way. there has to be.
said i wouldn't call, but i've lost all control
doing a job for years allows you to figure out a few things, short cuts. things that just work better. at dinner tonight, i was at the bar and the bartender asked me what made a dirty martini "dirty". shocked, i was. how are you a bartender and not know one of the staple drinks in the world of entertainment?and i won't even get into how wrong it was for mister waiter standing next to me, wine key in stationary hand while he was twisting the bottle....scratching the bar with every turn... to pull the cork out....on a completely separeate note, i'm disappointed.... and hurt.
